C'est mardi ...
- François M.
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18 years 2 months ago #56090
by François M.
Si vous voulez aller sur leau sans risque de chavirer. Nachetez pas un bateau, achetez une île. [Marcel PAGNOL]
Replied by François M. on topic C'est mardi ...
J'ai reçu ça ce matin en provenance d'Australie: 
Pretty funny (some new ones in here).
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some
milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,
milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a
tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you're sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell
them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers..
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
Pretty funny (some new ones in here).
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some
milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one,
milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a
tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so
they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you're sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell
them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers..
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
Si vous voulez aller sur leau sans risque de chavirer. Nachetez pas un bateau, achetez une île. [Marcel PAGNOL]
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18 years 2 months ago #56149
by Fréd
Fréd.
Fréd
Le nouveau Croc' est arrivé, vraiment heureux de retrouver tout le monde sur l'eau !
Replied by Fréd on topic C'est mardi ...
C'est ma préférée...A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
Fréd.
Fréd
Le nouveau Croc' est arrivé, vraiment heureux de retrouver tout le monde sur l'eau !
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- François M.
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18 years 2 months ago #56154
by François M.
Si vous voulez aller sur leau sans risque de chavirer. Nachetez pas un bateau, achetez une île. [Marcel PAGNOL]
Replied by François M. on topic C'est mardi ...
A noter que le smiley de Fréd représent une vache dissipée.
En effet, les vaches dissipées, dès qu'elles sont à l'abri des regards, passent leur temps à se lancer des bouses les unes sur les autres.
Or comme à l'origines toutes les vaches sont blanches, seules celles qui sont restée blanches sont sage, les autres ne le sont pas.
En effet, les vaches dissipées, dès qu'elles sont à l'abri des regards, passent leur temps à se lancer des bouses les unes sur les autres.
Or comme à l'origines toutes les vaches sont blanches, seules celles qui sont restée blanches sont sage, les autres ne le sont pas.
Si vous voulez aller sur leau sans risque de chavirer. Nachetez pas un bateau, achetez une île. [Marcel PAGNOL]
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18 years 2 months ago #56156
by Adrian
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18 years 2 months ago #56166
by maxdefun
Replied by maxdefun on topic C'est mardi ...
oh la vache...
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